Cellar Door
by hatsumiyo momichi
Summary: PBJ one shot (Sadstuck). Inspired by the song Cellar Door -by- Escape the Fate. Gamzee lives with his boyfriend Tavros Nitram, who probably is one of the only people in the world who understands him. The only one who has come to love him. The only thing that matters to Gamzee. But Gamzee s head isn t okay... And sometimes he does things he forgets he has done when he loses control.


He finished spreading the peanut butter over the slice of break before putting the knife down on the counter, frowning unconsciously as he tried to concentrate. He thought he heard somebody call his name.

-Tav? - He said aloud in the direction of the master bedroom, still not moving from the spot where he was making his lover something for dinner. He walked over to the fridge, getting out the bottle of milk to serve two glasses, closing the door after a few seconds once he heard the same noise from his room. He left what he was doing to pop his head through the door, calling again. –Tavros? – He said a little louder, now being sure it was his name that he was hearing from his lover´s lips. He walked towards the bedroom once he heard no response once again, and knocked on the cracked door to announce he was going to peek inside. –Tav? – He said a little softer, searching the room with his eyes, finding him on the floor. He opened the door to its full extent, walking inside slowly, letting his legs give in once he was next to his Tavros. His knees hit the floor and he leaned over his boyfriend, seeing his unclosed lids, his pale lips, drawing shaky fingers towards his nose to check if he was breathing. There was not even a subtle breeze blowing through his nostrils. Even though half of his mind already knew that, judging from the amount of blood that surrounded his stiff body. He let out a weak cry, his eyes darting all over his lover´s body, finding the knife that stood out from his chest, his eyes beginning to drip tears and his stomach tightening until it was wrapped on itself to help him give a horrible scream of pain that made his whole body shake from fear. –No no no no no no no…- He cried pathetically, petting Tavros´ hair over and over, compulsively, needy, choking on his own scared breaths and coughing to get air. He then grabbed both of his arms, and started dragging him, pulling with all of his strength, feeling the dead body as heavy as he ever felt it. He didn´t remember him being that heavy, having made love to him so many nights, and many more of those nights having him on top of his own chest. He left a trail of rich red blood as he dragged the corpse, leading the wet trail to their cellar. He laid him inside of there and he got on his knees again, crying and asking for mercy, crying and asking to die. He ran his fingers through his lover´s brown Mohawk softly, leaning close to him to kiss his forehead, kiss his cheeks, his jaw, his temples, his nose, his lips, his face, cold skin touching his warm lips.

Gamzee stared at him for hours. Watched as the blood went dry. Watched as his body seemed to become a stiff rock. Watched as he only got more beautiful. He looked so perfect laying there, over the white sheet of cloth on the floor, his blood forming a red halo around his perfect silhouette, his whole being looking like one of the angelic pictures he drew on his free time, on canvas. It was almost as if he was just a pretty painting on the floor. A painting too realistic for his taste. He whimpered loudly, pulling at his own hair brusquely, starting to scream his name in agony. He was gone forever. He was never coming back. He was never going to love him again. He began rocking back and forth, pleading the corpse to wake up, begging him to not leave him alone, crying to obtain his forgiveness. How could that have happened…?

But he looked like the most beautiful painting he had ever made. Tavros was beautiful. He had filled his life with beauty of all kinds, had illuminated his days with his smile, had protected him with his arms, and loved him like no one else ever had. He didn´t want him to leave. He didn´t want him to be away from his house. He didn´t want his beauty to leave the place where they had loved each other. He wanted to keep his beauty, and as he looked at his lover he thought he could keep him close. He could keep him close, scatter him all over the now empty rooms, put up his hands on picture frames, put his eyes in the glass, wear his face as a mask. It would be a gallery of his beauty. The most beautiful art gallery he had ever managed to put together. He could feel how he loved him even more by the minute.

But he didn´t move. Didn´t dare to touch the angel over the bloodstained sheet, didn´t dare to perturb his sleep. Sleep. No. His body was stiff, his veins were dry, his face was pale, his body was cold, and he had lost control. He couldn´t remember how. Couldn´t recall the moment in which he screwed a kitchen knife through his boyfriend´s chest. He had lost control. He couldn´t remember.

-I love you. – he whispered at him, slowly laying down beside him, passing an arm over his stomach to hug him, resting his head on his cold shoulder, snuggling close. –I love you, Tavros. – He repeated, kissing his shoulder over and over, breathing in the cold smell of his dead body. –I love you. – He cried in his arms and begged for him to forgive what he had done. Promised him he had never loved anyone else. Promised him he would be with him shortly. Asked him to not be scared meanwhile, and told him to wait for him. He kept on whispering to him, kept on kissing him, kept on begging him, and soon the daylight filtered through the dusty windows. And soon he heard footsteps in the kitchen that he deliberately ignored.

-Gamzee? – But Tavros needed him and he kept on kissing him cheeks. –Gam… oh my God. – He heard terrified scream that filled the cellar and scared away the spiders, but he kept on kissing his face. –oh God Oh God! What did you do?!- He recognized his friend Karkat´s voice. Or thought he could. He heard him ran off, stumbling over his own feet. He heard silence. He was so beautiful. Like an angel painted on the floor.


End file.
